Tool of the Man and A Night of Rounding

Congrats to Marty who won Wil's Thursday night tournament on Poker Stars. I blew a 4 to 1 chiplead at the final table to Marty and came in 2nd place. Great job, dude. Thanks to Wil for hosting and everyone for sweating at the end.


In a random side note, Wil was on megatilt in the tourney and he got on even more ubertilt after he was sucked out on twice in a row in an SNG. He called me to vent. I listened and when Wil was done venting, I said, "Dude, you owe $2 for those bad beat stories."

He ended up sending me the funds...

Hello DrPauly,

We have transferred $2.00 to your account as requested by 'Wil Wheaton'.

Good luck to you both.

Regards,
PokerStars Cashier

Moving on...

After Wil's tournament I almost played ring games with Jaxia. She decided to crash and I remembered that I was in Las Vegas. Fuck online poker which is rigged and run by the Russian mafia and Dick Cheney. I'm staying at Excalibur thanks to free rooms courtesy of Grubby's horrendous slot play over 2005. I headed towards the poker room before I stopped in my tracks and twirled around and walked towards Mandalay Bay.

When you're caught in a bad streak, you have to confront your fears.

Normalcy would tell me to avoid Mandalay Bay, but since my bad run has been spread out of a half a dozen casinos in Las Vegas, I decided to return to the source. It's one of my favorite casinos and I don't want to have to skip going there out of a silly supersticious notion.

I walked through the sports book and eyed a few NFL games. I was seated at a NL table right away while I waited for my $4/$8 with a half kill. I love that game, but never got a chance to play in it. My NL table was a wet dream.

Seat 1: Miss Nipples: Hot chick with no bra
Seat 2: Frat Boy #1: I wear Sunglasses
Seat 3: Sideways Hat Doofus
Seat 4: Old Asian Guy
Seat 5: Girlfriend of Sideways Hat Doofus
Seat 6: Drunk Guy from Chicago
Seat 7: Your Hero
Seat 8: Frat Boy #2: I'm a Unabomber Wannabe
Seat 9: Local Golf Pro
Seat 10: Dealer from The Orleans

Second hand, I'm in the LB. I found K-K. Golf Pro, Orleans Dealer, Miss Nipples aka Hot chick with no bra, and Frat Boy #1 all limped in. Doofus folded along with old Asian guy. Drunk Guy called as does Frat Boy #2. I moved all in for $197 and stared at the bulging hard nipples on the hot chick which was difficult since she was in Seat 1. I got 5 callers. I thought I was in fuckin' L.A. with that action and knew my hand would end up getting cracked. Two of them had bigger stacks. Two of them were less than $100. If my hand held up, I'd be scooping a ginormous pot.

The flop: K-4-A. Turn was a 10, and the river was a 10.

I was up against A-4, A-5s, Q-J, 6-6, and A-9. Miss Nipples turned a straight but I rivered the boat. Sickest hand I ever played live. Daddy would have been proud. I played out the rest of the orbit. I reluctantly mucked the Hammer UTG and walked away. I was up $650 when I sauntered past the Hooker Bar and let my mind race. I had enough for 2 hookers and decided agaianst it. I quickly went to the taxi stand and headed to another poker room.

I had not played at the Mirage since the trip began. I bought in for $600 at the 10-20 game. I played super tight the first 30 minutes then I losened up and raised in LP with J-9 or the Jaxia. I flopped a straight but one old lady with a mole scuked out a flush with K-2s. Huge pot with three players in until the river. 30 minutes later after losing most of my stack to blinds and missing flops with middle pair, I found A-Qs and raised UTG. Four callers. I flopped a queen with two rags and bet out. On the turn I was raised by a guy who looked like Paulie Walnuts when another Queen fell and I led out. We went back and forth a few times raising before he just called. The river was a King and I bet out. For some reason I put Paulie Walnuts on KQ and wanted to make sure. When he raised my river bet, I reraised. He came back over the top. I didn't have too many chips left and called. I showed my trips with an ace kicker. He had pocket Aces. Ouch. I was back to about even at that table. When that orbit ended I left down a few bucks. I was still up $600 overall.

As I passed a craps table I spotted a hot chick who looked like Belinda Carlise circa 1986. She was sipping on some sort of Daquiri or strawberry Julius. There was an empty space next to her so I wandered over. I was still up from that sick NL hand at Mandalay Bay and cracking aces. I decided to try to double up the TJ Cloutier way. Shooting dice.

Within a few minutes the hot chick admitted that she had no clue what she was doing. She was in town with her family and couldn't sleep. She decided to watch everyone play and finally got enough courage to buy in at the craps table. I gave her no advice and was honest. I told her I had limited craps skills and that I was a degenerate gambler. She smilled and proceeded to hit five points in a row. In honor of Spaceman, I even tossed out a bet, "On the yo!" And the the former Go-Go look-a-like nailed it.

During one of my tosses I had her blow on the dice. So fuckin cheesey. It didn't work, but by the time I decided to have to take a piss, I was up. I almost tripled up when I lost $75 right away on a few bad throwers and a fake-breasted bimbette with a rock on her finger the size of golf ball.

When it was over I was up $200 shooting dice for the night. I was up $800 as I walked over to the Bellagio. I was going to go to Ceaser's to check out their new room, but I was engrossed in a phone call and kept walking past it. When I got to the Bellagio it was after 2am, there was a short wait before I got on an $8/16 table. I ony played for an hour before I made two bad calls when I knew I was out kicked. Once with Q-J and the other with A-J. Dropped about $200 and I was still up $600 after trips to Mandalay Bay, Mirage, and the Bellagio.

I walked into the Monte Carlo. Derek and I lost a ton of cash playing blackjack there many moons ago. I was determined to leave Monte Carlo on a winning streak. I played NL there and ended up down $20 when I decided to leave my lame table. I can't recall anything specific aside from the fact I didn't want to be there anymore. I was up $580.

It was not too cold so I walked across the street to MGM and stopped at FatButger along the way to get a chocolate shake. At MGM, I sat down at a 1-2 NL table. I dropped by buy-in in the first hour after I lost set over set. I had not flopped a set in alive game in weeks it seemed (before the K-K at MB) and I lost my stack when my 8-8 lost to 10-10. I left around 6am after not catching any cards after a rebuy. I was only up $410 overall. Unreal. I should have skipped the other casinos and just went back to write after that sick ass hand at Mandalay Bay.

Past 6am, I walked back into the castle and I ate a busicuit from McDs. There was still a NL table running with few locals and two drunk guys from Holland. I flopped a set of 3s and rivered quads. I only won $100 on that hand and only got $25 on the wheel spin. It was yellow in case you were wondering. I lost a big pot with A-Q to A-K and got sucked out on when I flopped two pair with Kournikova. I ended up losing about $100 at Excalibur when I left the table about an hour or so ago. They have tournaments now, if you don't know. I considered signing up but I wanted to go write instead.

I was up around $300 after a late night gambling binge that took me to Mandalay Bay, Mirage, Bellagio, Monte Carlo, MGM, and the Excalibur... all within 8+ hours. I always wanted to pull an all nighter like that with Grubby, bu we never got around to doing that. Next year.

So I returned to my room and watched Dawson's Creek and started writing this instead of sleeping. Yes I probably would not have lost some cash on a few bad beats and a few bad decisions if I returend to my room as soon as I won that hand and ran up my nightly roll to over $800. I let it ride and was not afraid to lose money. When it was all over, I had a few stories to tell and posted two winning days in a row. That's a streak. I think I can leave Vegas now on a positive note.

The bleeding has been stopped.

*****

You should be reading.... BG's musings at Random Thoughts and Thoroughbred Selections.